Real work begins, but it’s the weekend

Website Users 33;
Going Right; It’s Saturday, officially don’t have to work.
Going Wrong; Badly Scheduled tweets in hootsuite for weekend when no-one would read them.
Comment; So-called ‘last minute’ rescheduling actually took 3 hours. [Read more…]

It’s like being in The Matrix

Site Launch Day User Count Going right Going wrong Comment
Visitors to the site highest ever yesterday Can’t for the life of me after 3 hours of studying the analytics, figure out why.
If I can’t figure out what I do right, how am I supposed to know what I am doing wrong?

Copy writing. I’ve mentioned it before. It’s the bane of my life. And that front page text has been changed more than a pair of whore’s knickers.

During this cycle of beta testing, I have asked many, many, many people to click onto the website and give me their feedback on what they see. Some have actually done it. Forget Myers Briggs. I have a better test of personality.

Some people get it straight off. They get excited. Passionate even. Those are the analytical geeky guys/gals.

Some get confused.

“What are you? Like a one stop shop for independent consultants?” (Thanks btw to the adviser who gave me that, I liked it and put it on there. It’s cheesy, but am partial to cheese). These are the old-school in-the-box thinkers. Good solid professionals but wary of change…

“There are too many messages.” That’s from the people that are sales & marketing focused. And then they quote business school theory at me.

“As the client, you should tell me what is in it for me.” Yes thank you, I read that book too.

“You should have something that my granny could understand in 15 seconds.”

What the hell is your granny doing there on the first place?

“Change your company name, Investment Impact makes me think of banks.”

Price Waterhouse Coopers is not a self-explanatory name (is it a department store? a Law firm? a consultancy that Prices Without Conscience? Who knows…) and certainly not more self-explanatory than Investment Impact. But it’s already famous (or infamous). It has leeway that I don’t yet have.

The difficulty is that I have two distinct segments that I have to attract. Consultants and Clients. But for me they’re all USERS. Most consultants will download some files, even if it’s just the free ones. And any user can be an expert and in fact all of them will be in something.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein

The way I have designed the model is to attract a type of User. Experts. People seeking experts. Not the so-called ‘clients’…..

But hold up! They won’t earn you any money! (See, I can hear you from here). My goal is to create a community first. If the community is excellent and thriving, then the clients will come.

My favorite haunt in Paris is Le Violon Dingue. I loved it so much that once they had to carry me out. Ahem. And most bars’ policies are to employ empty-headed young girls dressing them in tight promotional lucky strike t-shirts and short skirts.

To the US – think Hooters.

Now Hooters is all very well, but it doesn’t attract many women. Le Violon Dingue has a different policy. They employ 5-7 20-something, handsome Irish lads.

To the girls – think Ronan Keating or Cillian Murphy gazing at you with bright blue eyes, serving you a Pina Colada (in an Irish accent) and doing Tom Cruise style tricks behind the bar. Wet yet?

Where girls go, men follow. Le Violon Dingue gets many, many customers by knowing human nature.

Back to Investment Impact.”Why don’t you change the tag line so its more obvious? ‘We can see the future’ – what does that mean anyway?”

We can see the future. We have a superpower that other consultancies don’t have. We can help you make the right decisions at the right time and make sure your investment is the right one. The prophesy tagline is the bit I love. Makes me feel like I’m Neo in The Matrix.

My goal is to make the site attractive to consultants, experts and analysts, especially those who are new-wave and innovative, dedicated to excellence, those who are committed to co-creating their lives and changing the world. And clients will come, attracted to the excellence like flies to shit. Or the other less rude expression that escapes me right now.


Diff’rent Strokes

Site Launch Day User Count Going right Going wrong Comment
54 81
User count jumped up
Have to re-examine all the wording on the banners to explain the entire proposition in very few but at the same time, very clear, words.
There are no words.

Did you like yesterday’s blog post? I asked my boyfriend. Confident in the response because

a) he loves me

b) he is my biggest fan

c) am hormonal and he is very careful to say things that please me

Therefore I was panicked when he paused and made a rabbit movement with his mouth, clearly thinking about the best way to tell me he did NOT like my blog post. If my biggest fan didn’t like it, then there was little hope for the rest of the world.

“I guess I would have liked it more, if I didn’t think Starwars was shit.” he said. “I just don’t get science fiction where people are working side by side with beings who have funny ridges on their head.”

“I think you mean Star Trek.” I said. “Star wars has robots side by side with people.”

“But there’s that thing with big ears.” he replied, confused. “Someone replied that they liked it because it was cowboys and indians in space. Well I would have preferred cowboys and indians in the wild west.”

Yes. Some people don’t ‘get’ Starwars and for all the pontification yesterday, why should they? It reminds me once more that there are diff’rent strokes for diff’rent folks. Something that was echoed this morning when I had a quick skype with an ex-colleague and friend.

“I think the site is great, the idea is great but the banners got me confused.” he said. “Talk me through them.”

“OK.” I said. ” The first one says ‘Flexible consultancy. We do.’ And is accompanied by a guy sitting with a PC on top of a mountain. We consult anytime, anyplace, anywhere.

The next one says ‘Value Family. We do.’ You can work around your family, both if you are a consultant who can log project hours in the small hours of the morning and equally a client who prefers that his consultant delivers on the weekend for example.

After that we have ‘Play Games. We do.’ Which relates to the gaming system for all Investment Impact users – you will have noticed when you logged in that there is a profile page with ranks and achievements – its the method via which consultants prove their excellence. You can see their achievements, reviews and the extent to which they have engaged with the virtual way of consulting.

Then ‘Save Carbon. We do.’ Pretty obvious that virtual consultancy costs less and is greener than regular consultancy and finally ‘Love models. We do.’ Is a play on words on the excel models. If you click on every banner they will lead you through to a different page.”

I resisted finishing with “Ta-dah” and half expected a response like “Duh, yes I see it now.” Sadly not. What came was –

“Ok, it’s obviously totally clear in your head. And some of it is quite clever. But you need to be clearer. Like the first one. Flexible consultancy. Explain it. It’s virtual, it’s can be on weekends or in the evening and even by the hour. It’s like a market place for freelance consultants.”

“That’s what I say on the front page.”

“I didn’t read that far down.”

“But I only have space for 5 words or so on the banner. What would you put?”

“Yes.” He agreed.” That’s the tricky part.”